Becoming a parent is many things, so many expectations, challenges, and lessons. Honestly, it still feels strange wearing the title of parent, it almost feels like I have infiltrated a group I am not supposed to be in.
I think we all know that when becoming a mom, unsolicited advice comes in a heaping serving. Even so, I know that everyone is just trying to help give their advice that helped them the most, right?
My biggest surprise through pregnancy and after birth is the alarming amount of people that have negative things to say, and that brings me to my biggest pet peeve ever, the lovely phrase, “Just you wait”.
When I was pregnant and expressed being exhausted because I simply could ~not~ sleep in the late weeks of pregnancy, “Just you wait, you will never sleep once you have that baby”
When prior to knowing I had placenta previa expressed wanting to experience a medication and intervention free birth, “Just you wait, you will be asking for an epidural after an hour”
When I happily told people when Ollie was a week old(medical assistants at my doctors office, friends, family) that he is such a good baby and doesn’t cry much or keep me up all hours of the night, “Just you wait, they don’t stay that way”, eye rolls included.
Although I recognize none of these people were likely trying to be malicious, what exactly is the intention? To scare new parents into having anxiety about the ticking clock of when their baby will start terrorizing them? To make them feel bad about their own human feeling of tiredness? To make them feel week and unsupported in one of the biggest life events you could possibly experience? Because of these words I entered into this with a hefty amount of fear, and expectations of suffering for the foreseeable future.
So, to all my expecting mama’s and daddies out there, or anyone who is considering becoming a parent, let me tell you what you should “Just wait” for;
For the incredible amount of overwhelming love you feel for your perfect little human, even for the toughest and least emotional person. For the wee hours in the night you wake up to feed your baby and as they stare up at you, how lucky you feel. For the peaceful and snuggly sleeps you will share together. For the triumphant feeling of soothing them after figuring out what they need. For the incredible feeling of your body healing itself and becoming more comfortable every single day. For looking forward to the million adventures you will share together while simultaneously begging time to slow down.
Becoming a new parent is hard, that isn’t a lie, but by far it is the most rewarding and incredible thing I have experienced. I believe it is making me a better, softer version of myself I have never expected. I love my husband even more seeing him love his son and how excited he gets to take him on adventures. I’m only 7 weeks into this, but I cannot imagine ever regretting or feeling ungrateful about becoming a mom, lack of sleep or not.
If you are out there and need to hear it, I support you, I am here for you, and do not let peoples sharp remarks make you fearful. We are all capable of incredible things. You are so much stronger then you could possibly imagine.
And to those of you that may have said things like this to someone else, There is always room for growth, and maybe reconsider next time you are talking to a nervous parent to be before you let out that dreaded phrase, you never know the impact your simple words truly have.
Thank you for reading, Ill be back soon with more content!
S & O