New Movies: The Best and Worst

Ive seen a lot of good movies lately, which is lucky because there was a long drought of movies worth seeing in the theater for a couple months last year. Going to the movies is one of my favorite things (I know, I’m an old lady) so I was bummed when one of the only movies I was excited about during the dry spell was one of the worst movies I have ever seen! (Don’t worry, i’ll tell below)

So here come some movie reviews for recently released movies!

The Good:

Red Sparrow- Starring Jennifer Lawrence

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*No Spoilers Ahead*: This movie!! I had thought it looked pretty good from the trailer, but man did this surpass my expectations! I love J-Law as it is, and I have been waiting for something near to as awesome as “Silver Linings Playbook” for quite some time. She kills this role as a double agent spy, much reminiscent of spy movies from the past which are sorely missed. (I will say there are some definite sexual assault triggers, so if you suffer from PTSD from assault I would shy away from this one.) The premise to the story is prima-ballerina Dominica dancing for the Russian ballet, and when she has an accident that disables her from dancing she must find a way to pay the bills, which leads her to her slimy government involved uncle. The story unfolds as she witness’ something she shouldn’t, and is given a choice to become a “Sparrow” or die (Government ran spy/hooker, essentially). Great options, right? The end to this movie had my head spinning and me clapping in the theater for the bad-assery that had just occurred. I loved this classic spy flick, highly recommend!

2.Black Panther- Starring Chadwick Boseman, Micheal B Jordan, Lupita Nyong’o, and so many more

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*No Spoilers Ahead* How could I possibly make a great new movies list without this movie? Not only am I a huge fan of Marvel and have been watching these comic based movies for years, this is a movie that can be loved by anyone. With a full cast of people of color, including an all female team of badass warriors, this movie is a game changer for Hollywood in general in the way they cast movies. Hollywood is so often white-washed when it comes to block busters, its good to see a change being made and other ethnicity’s honored and celebrated! A story of revenge and doing what is right, this movie showcases relationships between family, tradition, and of course the all mighty Marvel style action. But who am I kidding? You have probably already seen it!

3. The Maze Runner- The Death Cure- Starring Dylan O’Brien, Thomas Broday-Sangster, and Kaya Scodelario

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*No Spoilers Ahead* Full Disclaimer- I have not Read the books. I am not comparing the two, I know, I have heard, its not a great book to movie translation. I heard that after I saw the first movie, but I honestly liked the movie so much I knew I would totally ruin it for myself if I decided to read it. When I first saw The Hunger Games in theaters, I had read the books to prepare and hated the movie because of the changes, but I have learned to separate the two from book/movie and now its all good. So with that being said; this movie was awesome. It took quite some time to finish filming as Dylan O’brien was injured pretty severely in filming stunt scenes and had to have months of rest. This movie does not spare any expense for action, and It was honestly so much more brutal than I thought it was going to be. Thomas is hell-bent on saving his captured friend Minho from WICK’D along with the many others following “Theresa’s” betrayal in “The Scorch Trials”. Thought provoking, emotional, and packed full of action this movie wrapped up the trilogy of Maze Runner perfectly (in my humble opinion).

The Bad

I only have one movie for this list, and if you are one of my close friends you had to hear me bitch incessantly for weeks about how awful this movie was. I have never left a theater more perplexed and with my head hurting as bad with this, quite frankly, atrocity of a movie.

Low and behold,

Mother! Starring Jennifer Lawrence.

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I wont describe this movie in super full detail as my poor friends were subjected to, but there are definitely spoilers ahead. My dearest J-Law, what the actual f**k is this movie? I know you were dating the director/creator of this movie, but GIRL. The first third of this movie is Lawrence walking around staring at things, occasionally painting a wall, and wearing a really fabulously done wig.  From there, things get really f**king weird. Lawrence’s husband the poet, played by Javier Bardem, has a visitor who claims he is just lost and needs a place to stay (actually a super fan of the writer who is apparently dying?idk), then his wife shows up aka Michelle Pfiffer, and invades the home as well. Pfiffer then makes very personal suggestions and conversations, and Lawrence has a mini melt-down and asks them to leave.Husband says no, until the wife breaks this weird crystal-looking thing in Bardem’s office which he is ballistic about. Somehow, somehow, the weird couples sons show up and start fighting over the dying doctors last will. One of them gets killed, they have a weird ass creepy funeral in the middle of the night AT THEIR HOUSE, where you witness Lawrence’s personal space be deeply invaded and stressed. Then, they have sex once, and she knows she pregnant, the next morning. Um. What. Ill spare the other weird details after that,  but my husband and I left the theater in the last 15 minutes as a BABY WAS BEING EATEN BY THE POETS CRAZY FANS. I did look up and see what the ending is, and apparently Lawrence (after her freaking child is eaten in front of her) locks the people in the house and blows it up. Bardem escaped, they exchange some words, and he reaches into her chest and pulls out her heart which disintegrates into that GD crystal. Then the cycle starts again, but with a different woman. Glad I didn’t stay, honestly. This movie was supposed to be some big message about algorithms or some crap, and in an interview Jennifer stated that the dying doctor represents the earth, which confused me about 100% more. There was so much more to this movie that was confusing and awful, but if I were to describe it all i would take up like 5 pages. Honestly I want someone else to watch this because then maybe they could fill me in?! So bad. The worst. I’m so sorry my darling J-Law!

Well folks, if you stuck through that last rant there, that’s all I’ve got for you tonight on movies. I have yet to see The Shape Of Water or Three Billboards, but I REALLY want to! Have any suggestions for me? See any of them? what did you think?

I’ll be back soon!

Love,

-S

 

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